


I'll Be Your Lifeboat

by ChandlersDemon



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: A lot of pain, Chandlmara - Freeform, F/F, Full on Depression, Full on trigger warnings, Hurt/Comfort, READ THE NOTE!, Rape, Spin-off story of an AU I haven't even published, triggering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 02:50:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14823809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChandlersDemon/pseuds/ChandlersDemon
Summary: All Heather could do was hold the girl in yellow, her arms weakly holding her close.She was fragile, she was broken...Everything that had happened, she put the blame on herself, when both of them knew that it wasn't her fault at all.





	I'll Be Your Lifeboat

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, Scrunchies. (You are now officially a member of the scrunchie cult, just go with it.) [I've been trying to find a name for the people that read my stories, so this just came to mind. xD]
> 
> Okay, so, before you read this, I just want you to read this first.   
> This story popped into my head at random.   
> It includes rape and mentions of rape.   
> If you are not comfortable with either of those things, for the love of god, please do not read this.   
> Much like myself, I tend to ignore author's warnings, but shit is graphic and it can and will fuck you up.   
> Just don't say I didn't warn you first.   
> It's a touchy topic for plenty of people in this world and I understand that immensely.   
> Don't go at me in the comments, throwing hate because I wrote the story, I gave you a warning, so just respect the fact that I did so and didn't just let you dive nose deep into it without a word.   
> You are all loved and if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always there for you. :)  
> ~Know that you're loved. 
> 
> [BASICS]
> 
> ~Heather Duke  
> -Oldest  
> -Second Tallest  
> -Brunette  
> -Black Eyes  
> -Not bitchy in this? 
> 
> ~Heather Chandler  
> -Second Oldest  
> -Tallest  
> -Strawberry Blonde  
> -Silver Eyes  
> -A protective babe
> 
> ~Heather McNamara  
> -Youngest  
> -Shortest  
> -Blonde  
> -Baby Blue Eyes  
> -Precious and needs to be protected at all fucking costs. #SAVEBABYMAC
> 
> [BEFORE YOU READ]
> 
> This story is a spinoff story of an AU that I have been working on for some time.   
> I've been wanting to work on it more and more.  
> Two chapters are currently sitting in my drafts, but I have chosen not to continue the story due to one of my friends that is doing the artwork for the story is in a harsh time. She needs a lot of time to recoup and I would never ask her to do any sort of work during her recreational period.   
> Once things lighten up a little, I may continue the story, just without the beautiful artwork that would've been provided.   
> With enough love and support, I am willing to post the first chapter with the given artwork and if anyone else would love to possibly step forward and do some work, I am not against it at all.   
> Leave your love in the comments and I might just publish the first chapter to the story! 
> 
> ~Carry on!  
> -Chandler

Heather McNamara  let out a whine as hands wrapped around her waist from behind. Firm hands planted themselves directly on her hips and she could already feel a hard erection digging into her ass. Her hands were planted on the wall as she dropped her head forward, hoping she would just disappear. Everything felt wrong... She just wanted to get away from the party, get out of there, maybe die while she was at it.. Of course, she couldn't go through with anything that she wanted, Heather's word was law, so she was stuck at this party.. Stuck feeling an unwanted erection slide against her ass while needy hands slid up her sides. Her mind was screaming as she tried to get out of the man's grasp, she kept thrusting herself backwards, hoping to manage to at least knock him off balance or something! Nothing she did worked.. His grip on her wrists tightened and it only excited him more and more as he continued his actions.   
A familiar clack of heels on the wooden hallway floor outside of the bedroom door caught Heather's ear. Her bright blue eyes filled with some sort of hope as she pushed herself back once more, screaming as loud as she could. 

"Heather!"

A hand instantly smacked against her face and her cry was silenced by a strong hand over her mouth. The man turned her around by her shoulder and pushed her right back against the wall. His crazed brown eyes watched her own intently as he spat out his words, his breath reeked of sour whiskey. The man's free hand slid through her open blazer, grabbing roughly at her breasts.

"Your little girlfriend isn't gonna save you." 

Heather's eyes closed tightly as she felt tears begin to slip down her cheeks. The familiar sound of a fly unzipping shredded her ears as she threw her hand out, managing to connect it with her perpetrator's chest. This only seemed to amuse the man before her, his hand leaving the confines of her clothes and instantly taking her wrist. His hold on her fragile wrist was strong, a little too strong.. Pain shot through her bones as she felt him squeeze her wrist tightly, slamming it up over her head.  
Well, you can't say she didn't try...  
Heather could feel her wrist throbbing as he dropped it, allowing it to fall to her side. She could barely feel her hand, everything in that moment just hurt. What hurt even more was when her skirt was yanked up and his hand left her mouth to send a smack straight down on the girl's thigh. Her first want was to cry out and scream, but she instantly put the option off to the side as his hand slowly slid up her inner thigh. She wanted to kick him, to find someway to get away and find Heather and Heather, she just wanted to get out of there!  
 _Please! What did I do to deserve this?!_

"You're already wet..." 

Feeling fingers press against her over her undies, she involuntarily bucked her hips at the contact.  
None of it was for him! None of it!  
Tears swelled in her eyes as she tried to somehow squirm out of his hold, but the minute he had pulled her panties to the side and lined his cock up with her entrance, her mind went blank as pain screamed throughout her body.

* * *

"Where the hell is she?"

Heather Duke growled from Chandler's side. Her pitch black eyes scanned the crowds as she pushed multiple people out of her way, almost hissing at the people who got too close for her liking. The young blonde had just ran off. The two girls hadn't seen her since after they took their shots together, and that had been a whole hour ago. Scowling at the thought, Duke looked to Chandler, fear lining her eyes as they reached the bottom of the stairs. 

"She knows not to run off." 

Heather Chandler replied in a low tone. Her tone was far from normal. If Heather had to say, she was sure she heard worry clouding the girl's tone. Of course, she couldn't blame the younger strawberry blonde, it was in their nature to care for one another.. When Heather just seemingly disappeared, both girls had been on edge. They were the type of people who didn't seem to care for one another, at least they would let the outside world believe that. In all actuality when it came down to it, the Heathers cared for one another more than anyone else possibly could. 

"What if she didn't... Run off?" 

Heather's eyes seemed to darken at the girl's words. Anger seemingly flooded her system as she turned to look down at the girl in green. Her silver eyes went from a soft cloud-like color, to a mere stone cold gray. Looking down at the girl, Heather shook her head as she started up the stairs. She didn't want to think about the situation. her mind was racing and her heart wouldn't calm down.  
 _Heather being..? N-No.. No, she's fine. She's okay.. Wherever she is..  
_ The thoughts began to overtake Chandler's mind and she bit the inside of her mouth as she reached the top of the stairs.

"N-No.. She-She's okay." 

Duke seemed to frown at her side. Heather was scared. The possibility was there, but neither girls wanted to look at it, all out of fear for former happenings. It had happened before, who's to say it wouldn't happen again? They had all been terrified the first time and never let it go, but now? Now they couldn't let it go. 

Heather started busting down door after door, slamming them against the wall on couples who were fucking, and some people who were just trying to sleep off their growing headaches. Her mind was working at 90 mph and she couldn't stop the pain from her heart slamming against her rib cage. In that moment, everything just hurt. She couldn't comprehend anything that was happening. How she would slam doors open, or curse at the people who cursed back at her. Duke had to grab her ad drag her away from a drunk couple who had gotten right up in their faces, and the older girl in green seemed to get more worried by the second. 

"Where is she?" 

Heather whined as she pushed open the door to the bathroom, seeing no one inside. Her silver eyes dulled and her hand hit against the wooden door as she turned around to look at Duke. The older brunette frowned as she looked into the strawberry blonde's eyes, her eyes showing their own pain as she replied quietly. Heather was breaking down, so for once, Duke had to step up and be strong for her friend's sake. It was an odd thing, to take control over a situation, but Duke wasn't going to let Heather down. 

"I'm not sure, Heather.. But we can't stop now-"

"I'm not going to stop, Idiot!" 

Pushing off of the door, Heather started back down the hall, her walk a little more vigorous than before. With each pound of her heels, it only brought more fear into Duke's heart. She was worried as to what the hell would happen when they found Mac. Would Heather go off on her and scold her for disappearing..? Or would the scene be completely different and everything would go to shit? Duke really hoped the first one. As much as she couldn't deal with seeing Heather cry, she couldn't deal with the thought of Heather possibly being-

_"Heather!"_

Freezing in their tracks, Heather started to nearly run down the hall towards the cry. It was faint, but they had heard it, and Heather could feel her heart relax just a little as they neared the door.  
Only if it had stayed that way...

* * *

The door burst open to the room she was in and Heather pushed herself back against the corner of the bed and the wall. Her bright blue eyes were puffy and glazed over as she let out a whine. She had half been expecting for him to come back.. When she saw bright red and green enter her vision, she instantly buried her head in her knees. She didn't want to see them! As much as she had wanted to be saved, she didn't want them to see her like this!

"Heather!" 

Heels clacked against the floor and headed towards the bed. It wasn't long before Heather felt the mattress dip and her whine sounded audible for both girls to hear.  
Chandler seemed to stop her actions as she looked over at Duke from her spot in front of the youngest out of them. Her silver eyes were threatening to spill tears as she placed a hand over her mouth, looking away from Duke's faze.  
This is what they had dreaded.  
This is what they hadn't wanted.  
This is what they had known was going to happen if they left the younger girl out of their sight...  
 _This was all their fault._

* * *

Walking up the steps to the McNamara's mansion, Chandler cradled Heather in her arms. Her silver eyes were dull as the girl whined upon the door opening. Heather's parents had been out of town for weeks and she wasn't sure as to when they were coming back, but when the door opened and revealed her butler, she was beyond happy to see that it wasn't her parents for once.

"Ms.Chandler, Ms.McNamara! What on earth happened?" 

Chandler just pushed past the butler, tears in her eyes as she headed straight for the stairs. Neither of them wanted to talk about it. Heather just kept her head down as she held Mac a little tighter once she started walking up the stairs. A strong sense of deja vu smacked her like a tidal wave and she had to freeze for a moment, stopping at the top of the steps.  
The young blonde in her arms let out a small whine as she nuzzled into the older strawberry blonde's breasts. She must've noticed Heather's falter as they headed towards her room. The situation played through both of their minds, and they hated that they knew how to deal with it by now. 

 

 

**[]**

 

"Do you need help?" 

Sitting on Heather's bed, Heather watched the younger blonde fumble with the belt that wrapped around her waist. Her hands were shaking and her knees nearly gave out as she looked up, scared by Heather's offer. Silver eyes connected with sad baby blues, and Heather could only manage a nod as she gave up on trying to undo the pitch black belt.  
As Heather slowly got off the bed and started walking towards the petite girl, Heather backed away. Chandler stopped walking towards the girl the minute she noticed the scared reaction from Heather and frowned. Her eyes dulled as she watched the girl look at her, fear clouding over her eyes.   
 _I know, Sunshine.. I'm sorry this had to happen to you.. I'm not going to hurt you and I know you think that I am, but you know I've been through the same thing.. I would never hurt you._

"I'm not going to hurt you, Heather." 

Heather promised the girl in a soft voice as she took a small step back, showing that Heather had complete control over the situation. If the girl was uncomfortable with her being close by her and helping her undress, then she would leave the room and allow her to do what she needed to do, but if she needed her, she would be by her side in a heartbeat.  
Seeing Heather back away from her, Mac nearly whined at the girl's actions. She wanted Heather to help her, she wanted the girl to hold her in her arms and never let go. Heather wanted so much from the older strawberry blonde, but she couldn't muster a word. A timid nod was all she could give and she slowly took a small step forward, proving that she wasn't scared of the girl in red. Smiling at the younger girl, Heather slowly closed the space between them and allowed her hands to take the girl's belt, unlooping it slowly as to not scare the girl.

"I hate parties.." 

Heather mumbled as she looked away from Chandler's eyes. She felt the need to start a conversation, to get something in her head so she could stop hearing groans and moans fill her ears. All she wanted to do was forget about tonight, to just let it blow over.. Something told her that was going to be a harder task than she wanted it to actually be.  
Heather chuckled softly at the younger girl's words, continuing her task. The belt slid through her hands with ease as she tugged it off of the girl's waist, allowing to to rest in her hands as she looked down into Heather's eyes.  
 _She needs a distraction..._

"So do I-"

"Then whey do we keep going to them?" 

Heather let out a near whine as her hands pushed Chandler away. The pressure on her waist had scared her as she backed onto the bathroom tiles, her eyes clouding over in fear as she looked at Chandler from her spot. She hadn't meant to push the older girl, she was sure Heather knew that, but she was still scared as to how the girl was going to react.  
Being pushed was something Heather should've seen coming. Tugging at the belt was probably the stupidest thing she could've done, but it was off, so she had completed her task. The words the girl had spat out while interrupting her played through her mind though. She was upset.. Angry..   
Why did they keep going to all the shitty parties? 

"You know why, Heather-"

"I don't care about my reputation anymore! I don't want to go to another party-" 

"Heather, please, calm down-"

Heather slowly started into the bathroom, resting the girl's belt on the counter. Her eyes connected with the younger girl's and she could see the panic starting to fuel Heather's every action. She was breaking down, it was that much Chandler knew. The strawberry blonde knew she needed to stop the attack before it spiraled out of control. 

"Don't tell me what to do! I'm sick of being bossed around! I'm sick of-" 

"Heather, you're okay, calm down-" 

"Shut up, Heather!" 

Taking the belt off the counter, Heather hurled it towards her friend in red. When it connected with Heather's chest, Mac seemed to freeze, only just registering her actions. Her back connected with the wall and she instantly felt her body shake. She hadn't meant it! She didn't mean to throw it! Fear filtered through her eyes as Heather looked at her. No anger was within the girl's silver eyes, but Heather couldn't stop herself from muttering out an apology although she didn't need one. 

"Sorry, Heather..." 

Heather frowned as she bent down to pick up the belt off the tile floor, placing it back on the counter with a sigh. Mac was scared. She was panicking and she was barely in control of what she did. Despite allowing the girl to control her actions within the moment, Heather knew the girl felt far from in control. She hadn't expected the girl to lash out and chuck something at her. That was something she had done, but she had expected the younger girl to be different from her from when she had to deal with the aftermath of her own event.. A small nod was all she could give as she stopped by the sink, giving the girl the rest of the space in the giant private bathroom. 

"You're fine, Heather." 

Heather felt far from fine as she slowly straightened herself against the wall.  
 _At least I'm not being held against it.._  
The freezing cold tiles connected with her covered back, but she still tensed as she looked back up into Heather's eyes. She hadn't meant to tense, she didn't mean anything that she was doing. She knew she was scared, but she couldn't calm down, as much as she wanted to, something just kept her from calming down..  
When Heather straightened herself, she slowly allowed herself to come off of the wall and walk towards Heather, her walk was slow and timid, but she was standing before her nonetheless. It was surprising to feel the girl's arms wrap around her waist and her head rest against her chest. It was something that Heather hadn't been expecting as she allowed her arms to rest loosely around the girl's body. She didn't want to keep her there. Heather knew that that was the one thing she hadn't wanted when it had happened to her. No one wants to be kept in place.. Especially not after that. 

"Why..?" 

The question sounded against her skin and Heather wanted to hug the girl tighter.  
 _Why..?  
_ She couldn't answer that. No one had the answer to that..

"I've asked myself the same thing, Heather.." 

Heather hugged her tighter at that. Her arms held the girl in red close, not allowing her to move away from her. Her head was buried in the girl's chest and in that moment, she just wanted to stay like that.  
When Heather held her tighter, she allowed herself to be held in place. Her chest rose and fell slowly and she only had just allowed her hand to run through the girl's blonde locks. She wasn't going to pressure the girl in anyway, nor scare her. As much as she would've loved to have given the girl an answer, there just wasn't one.

"Do the questions ever go away..?" 

Pulling away slightly from the older girl, Heather's hands still rested on Chandler's waist, her teary blue eyes looking up into Heather's silver colored ones. Her body was shaking, but she didn't want to pull away fully from the older girl. She felt safe when she was with Heather..  
All of the questions the younger blonde asked, Heather had no answer to..  
Sometimes they went away, but sometimes they would come back. The minute one question left your mind, another replaced it..

"No, Sunshine.. They don't.." 

Heather whined at that, her head nuzzling right back into Heather's chest. Warm arms slowly came to envelope her and for a minute, Heather actually felt okay. The warmth slowly flooded through her system and she found herself able to manage with the feeling that had been grabbing at her heart. A small sigh left the young girl as she buried her head further into Heather, hoping that maybe she would just disappear in the warmth of the girl's arms.  
All Heather could do was hold the girl clad in yellow. Her breaths left her slowly and evenly as she ran her hand up and down the girl's back. If Heather wanted to pull away at any moment, she could, but Heather knew they would be like that for some time..  
Her silver eyes closed tightly as she felt tears slowly trickle down her cheeks, her head rested on Heather's as she bit back her cry.

_I promised I would protect you, Heather.. But I didn't keep my promise to you. Much like you had promised to protect me, we both failed one another. I may not have been there to save you then, but I'm here with you now. I'll be your lifeboat, Sunshine. When you feel like you're drowning, I will pull you out of the water and hold you close till you feel ready to take on the world. You're my only Sunshine.. I don't wanna lose you, Baby.. Forgive me for not being there for you.. If I had, I'm not sure I could've done anything anyways.._

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Writing Times:
> 
> Start Time:   
> 8:34 PM
> 
> End Time:   
> 9:34 PM
> 
> ~Not revised for grammatical or spelling errors.


End file.
